can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
