Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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