You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
