it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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