obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
