The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
