so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
