we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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