So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
