I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
