It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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