Having a random hookup so left but love u
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
