just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ttyl tear gas
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
