Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
