her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
