I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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