what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
