TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
