I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
