Can i not drive my cunt home
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
