Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
