the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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