who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
