I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
