Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
