by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
