I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
