You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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