This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
