Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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