College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
