didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
