Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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