So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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