But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
