So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
