So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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