Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
