So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize