I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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