The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
