mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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