i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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