I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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