my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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