She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
