no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
