You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
