hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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