Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need water and some morals
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
